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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gallifrey-feels:

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE

sexioto:

that boy you just called gay? well he is gay. he’s your boyfriend. both of you are gay. how do you keep forgetting this, jeffery


Clara:  It looks like your handwriting.
Doctor:  Well, I couldn’t have written it and forgotten, could I?
Clara:  Have you met you?

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

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They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

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update: she caught a squirrel today

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She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

faboratory:

sleepthroughthealarm:

i’m on a baby names website to name a character

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one of these things is not like the other

yeah i mean who the frick would name their kid shaelynn

walkerflexxasranger:

crunkedviolet:

iblamebuckybarnes:

unofficialhogwarts:

Headcanon that after the battle of Hogwarts, George dyes his hair an outrageous colour, and at first Molly is mad, but then she hears George whisper “I kept thinking it was him in the mirror”. 

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I hate you

fuck